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Thursday, February 7, 2013

Day 4 - KINDNESS

This post is written by Brandi Watson, Community Outreach Program Coordinator for the Albion Fellows Bacon Center and Candice Perry, Executive Director of the Albion Fellows Bacon Center.

The mission of Albion Fellows Bacon Center is to eliminate domestic and sexual violence in our communities through advocacy, education, support services and collaborative partnerships.  So how does this mission relate to the topic of Youth Produced Sexual Images?  Well, in order to understand that relationship we need to look at what this topic is.  This discussion could benefit you if you have had this happen to you or if you have a friend that has had this happen to them.   We are all resources for each other and for many, friends are our first choice for support.

Yesterday we discussed Respect, andwhat some of the consequences are of sharing inappropriate images of yourself via the web or a phone. This discussion was had to hopefully help you realize the seriousness of a decision to take a photograph like this of yourself, but not to leave you feeling stuck if you have already made a decision to do this behavior.  Today we are going to talk about what to do if you or a friend or loved one are in this situation and remind you of some reasons to avoid the behavior in the first place.

Why do you think this behavior happens?  In some cases, you may be responding to peer pressure in a form of cyber bullying or pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend.  After a break up, photos that seemed private get sent around out of revenge. Sometimes sending these photos is impulsive behavior, flirting, or even blackmail.   I have had many teens tell me they were bored and it was something to do, or they were just goofing off with a friend or dating partner and a picture got snapped on a cell phone. Sometimes these pictures are taken without your knowledge.  We saw a local example of that in Henderson, Kentucky when several athletes chose to take a locker room picture of one of their teammates. Bottom line…taking pictures like this is always a bad idea.

The desire to talk and gossip about things like this is so very strong.   Especially at school when there are people around you all day long.   Plus, how many times do we get into disagreements with our friends and choose to do things out of anger that we regret after calming down?   Not only is there the emotional (and reputation) damage that can come from having intimate photos of yourself go to a friend who can become an ex-friend, but these photos can be distributed and archived online for people to search for forever.

After the picture is out there it may lead to bullying. This creates a harsh world for a teen to live in. Oftentimes reaching out for help can be embarrassing.  You may fear that by telling someone what is going on you will be making it worse, or fear getting into trouble. This can lead to feeling like you’re caught in a trap with no way out.  How hard would it be to sit in school knowing that anyone in the room could have looked at this picture of you?

So, what can you do if you find yourself in this situation?  What advice can you give a friend who comes to you because they have received one of these photographs on their cell phone?

Common Sense Media define four roles that people can play in a cyberbullying situation. These are:

  • target: a person who is the object of an intentional action
  • offender: a person who intentionally commits acts to hurt or damage someone
  • bystander: a person who passively stands by and observes without getting involved
  • upstander: a person who supports and stands up for someone else

Which role would you take? Which role best exemplifies kindness?

Many people want to just delete the image and make it go away, especially after learning about the consequences of having a photo like this. That won’t solve the problem, its taking the role of the bystander and could still land you in trouble. Things we delete from a cell phone or computer don’t go away.  The sender of the photo still has a link to your phone showing that you received the photo.  If the sender of the photo gets in trouble, the police could come knocking on your door looking for an explanation for what you did with the photo they know you received. It’s worth repeating: Deleting things does not make them go away.

So how can we respond to the situation in a better way? How can we be an "upstander?"  These tips from the website www.connectsafely.org represent the most pervasively accepted advice about this situation.

  • If a sexting photo arrives on your phone, first, do not send it to anyone else (that could be considered distribution of child pornography). Second: Talk to a parent or trusted adult. Tell them the full story so they know how to support you. And don’t freak out if that adult decides to talk with the parents of others involved – that could be the best way to keep all of you from getting into serious trouble.
  • If the picture is from a friend or someone you know, then someone needs to talk to that friend so he or she knows sexting is against the law. You’re actually doing the friend a big favor because of the serious trouble that can come if the police get involved.
  • If the photos keep coming, you and a parent might have to speak with your friend’s parents, or the police.


How is responding correctly to someone else's bad choice an act of kindness?
How can avoiding bad choices help us to prevent bullying?
How can you be an "upstander" if you find yourself in a situation of cyberbullying?

137 comments:

  1. A friend of mine had an ex-boyfriend post an inappropriate picture of her on Instagram. Although the principal made him remove it, students still had it screen-shotted. Always remember...''Deleting things doesn't make them go away.''

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you just turn it down its the best thing.

    if you just stay away from people like that.

    do not send it to anyone and if you dont get it and you know someone who does tell the teacher.

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  3. I think that it is wrong to do things like this but why put your self in this place

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  4. I think you should stay away from people like that, ignore them. Those kinds of people don't need to be in your life, they are not worth your time. Their just gonna have you upset at the end when they decide to be stupid and send it to others.

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    Replies
    1. Breanna - What happens when they seek you out? When you end up in the middle and you didn't do anything to deserve to be there? How do you handle it then?

      Delete
  5. People just need to know not to send pics like that at all,

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  6. Just dont listen to it.

    Dont talk to people that are like that.

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  7. if you get a pic of someone nude pic tell a teacher what the porsons name so they get in truble and turn the pic down

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  8. You shouldn't send pics if you don't want people to send them around.

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  9. I don't think it is right to do things like this but you are your own person

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  10. People just need to stay away from those kinds of people those kinds of people are bad people.
    I think it is wrong to do stuff like this.
    But do you want to put yourself in this place?
    Don't say bad stuff cause it can get passed around.
    Just turn it down, stay away from those people, don't talk to them, and don't even look at them, don't go near them stay AWAY!!!

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  11. you soud not send it to no won and you shud dellet it and tell some one .

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  12. I think that everyone should show kindness and be polite to one another because it would make a tremendous difference in people's attitudes and how they act out to them. Try to show kindness every day to let people know that you care and appreciate them.

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  13. You dont wont to have to put your self in these choices. If you do get in these choices then go get help.If you see some one having a had time then you have to do the beast you can to help them.Even if you have to be hard on them.

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  14. You should just stay away from people like this. They are nasty and its so wrong.

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  15. I think if one of your friends come up to you and tell you that they got a picture of someone on their phone nude from a text message you should go tell an adult that you trust.

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  16. Well if u turn down the picture ur saving some one a lot of pain and heart ache.

    If u dont put yourself in that situation in the first place, you should be fine.

    End it. Stop it. Intervene. TELL SOMEONE!!!!!.

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  17. You should not send a picture that you know will not be legal especially.

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  18. Reacting right to someone elses bad choice is a act of kindness because if you know how to react to it you can help that person and you can warn them how not get in trouble by making another bad choice like that againg.
    Well avoiding bad choices can help you prevent bullying because if you dont make bad choices like bad pictures because if you dont then the bully wont have anything to hold over their head.
    I can be an upstander in an cyberbully situation by standing up for the person that is getting cyberbullyed.

    ReplyDelete
  19. How is responding correctly to someone's bad choice an act of kindness. First of all it shows that you care for them. That you would even try to help shows that you are putting in effort to help people in the need of well...help.Just like you parents.If they don't let you see movie with a girlfriend , maybe they thought that she was a bad influence. That could of changed everything about this in the article above.It shows that they care for you and they want you to be well.There not mean for letting you not go , actually you should be kissing there polished black shoes for helping you!
    How can avoiding bad choices prevent bullying?Well i mean just don't do it. There peer pressuring you. You know what we learned in heath from our teacher Mr. Moseby? S.T.O.P. S-Say no in a firm voice.T-Tell why not!O-Offer other things , like a sport.P Promptly leave. I'm not so sure with that last one the letter p but that's what he told us if your are ever under peer pressure. These simple steps can stop humiliation a mile away!. Just not doing that can change it! He/she's not going to take a picture of you doing something good. They want you doing something bad! Don't do alcohol because that can make you do stupid things.Just don't do it in the first place!
    How can you be an "Upstander" if you find yourself in a situation of Cyberbullying ? Well you can start a blog.(cough cough).You can be the person who's comment changes a thousand people's life's . I mean it's really simple! If a crowd of people are calling her mean names and doing inappropriate gestures don't be a bystander be a "upstander" ! Say hey this could of happened to anyone just like you! It was one stupid thing that she/he did! We've all done some really not the smartest ideas but why can't we all get along?. A comment like that can stop cyberbullying. So i ask you. Would it be funny if you were the one that was on spotlight?

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    Replies
    1. Ashton - GREAT thoughts! Thanks so much for sharing!

      Delete
  20. Responding correctly to someone else's bad choice is an act of kindness because it shows an acknowledgement that people are flawed and will make mistakes. It recognizes that we are human and are not perfect.

    Avoiding bad choices prevents bullying since any mistakes provides ammo for bullies to exploit.

    To be an "upstander" in a situation involving cyber-bullying, all you need to do is simply stand up for someone that is being cyber-bullied.

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    Replies
    1. Good thoughts Andrew! Can you avoid all bad choices? Is it easy or hard to stand up for someone being bullied?

      Delete
    2. Q: Can you avoid all bad choices?
      A: Avoiding all bad choices is impossible because when you are younger (I'm talking about the age of a toddler), you are still learning and could potentially make a bad choice by accident while in the process of learning. However, once we become responsible for our own choices, we are also able to decide which choices to take and which to ignore.

      Q: Is it easy or hard to stand up for someone being bullied?
      A: It is easy for me because I have developed a very strong sense of right and wrong that is unable to bend to the will of anyone but myself. For ones with a weaker sense of morality, it will be significantly harder.

      Delete
  21. I think that if you or a firend get a nude picture of someone than you should tell a adult that you trust and to not tell someone that you don't trust or someone who you think will spread or share the information.

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    Replies
    1. Telling a trusted adult, immediately, will help make sure you do not get caught up in the situation. Never forward the picture on. As soon as you do you are part of the chain, and part of the problem.

      Delete
  22. When people cyberbully it is hurting so many people the people should think be fore they post it can come back hurt them to

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  23. Cyber Bullying can ruin you self-estein. Some people may post some rude comments. They could even post sometheing embarassing. We need people to stand up and help stop cyber bullying. Someboby is out there to help and so are some of the kids at your school. Stand up, be brave, and be confident

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  24. Any kind of bullying is hurtful but cyber bullying can be much worse. People say stuff that they normally would not say in person because they feel more safe not being face to face. Every type of bullying can lead to suicide. Another problem is that some people think that it is okay to send nude pictures to someone they like or thier significant other. They are sending these photos at there own risk. In reality not everyone is going to keep these photos to themselves. These pictures never go away. Be careful.

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    Replies
    1. Starr - You make a very good point - people say things in a digital way that they would NEVER say in face to face. Goes back to our earlier discussions of thinking before you post something. Thanks for bringing this up!

      Delete
  25. If you have self respect, then don't send pictures, and if someone has a picture of someone nude. Cool that's on them.. When they get caught with it, there in trouble not you.

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  26. I have been bullied earlier in my life. But it has never gone as for as Cyber Bulling. I have friends that have been cyber bullied by other people. They said it send out a rumor that was so bad that no one trusted her for the longest time. They were talked about and no one wanted to be around. It brought down there Self-estein. Cyber Bullying is bad and should not happen. Sometimes, if it is bad enough, it could lead to suicide in the victim. Do you want the weight of someones death on your shoulders because you posted a stupid rumor that you know is not true.

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    1. Sarah - thanks for sharing your story! You are right that cyberbullying unfortunately does lead to suicide. We have to make sure that everyone know that suicide just isn't an option. We must all watch for signs of suicide in our friends, especially if we know they are being bullied, and have the courage to tell someone who can help our concerns. We should never keep our fears about someone hurting themselves (or others) to ourself. We MUST share these thoughts, and that requires courage, requires being an upstander!

      Delete
  27. How is responding correctly to someone else's bad choice an act of kindness? It shows that you care about the person enough to take your time to respond and talk to them.

    How can avoiding bad choices help us to prevent bullying?
    If you do not do things worth bullying you over, than there will be no bullies, thus no bullying or cyberbullying

    How can you be an "upstander" if you find yourself in a situation of cyberbullying?

    Just tell someone about it and do your best to stop it from happening to anyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Be mature and help this group. Don't do something that you know will be against this and it is illegal.

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  29. If there is a problem with bullying I try to say something, but sometimes I don't have enough courage. I need to not let other peoples' thoughts have an impact on me anymore and do what is right. I see bullying everyday because of jealousy or just to be rude because they have have a problem in their lives. Normally you could get a whole bunch of people to stand up against the bully and tell them to stop and what could happen if the person they were bullying had suicidal thoughts. I think people don't care about anything but themselves. "Kill'em with kindness!" This saying is what my mom told me and if you act llike it doesn't bother you and have fun with your friends then they will stop. "You never know what you have until it is gone!" This is also a really important quote that everybody realizes when it is to late adn sometimes you don't get a second chance. This is what I think of bullying and how I deal with it.

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  30. I do not see the point in cyber bullying or any bullying for that matter. Just mind your own business and if you are mad at somebody, talk to your counsler for help. Don't fight fire with fire. You are just feeding the flames.

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  31. If your Kind to some one that's showing your spirit kindness and kindness is happiness yes it sounds weird but it's true and everyone knows it when your kind to people they might be kind back and if they don't then something must be going on in their life , and that's when you ask them if everything is alright and if they say yeah then I guess they don't really know happiness that's what I think of kindness

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  32. We know that taking pictures of yourself and sending them to people can end in bad consequences. So if you know that it could hurt you, then why do it in the first place? If your boyfriend/girlfriend is peer presuring you to do send him/her a naked photo, then he/she obviously does not respect you enough. But, lets say that you're a bystander, just someone watching this happen to someone else. Instead of being a bystander, why don't you try to find help for the target, and become the upstander? Even though you can never permanetly delete the photo from the internet, you can still try to help them get out of the situation. Doing this, you would become an upstander and acting appropriatly to the situation.

    To avoid the situation, don't send the picture in the first place! It will just lead up to hurt and embarassment, so why do it? Nobody ever wants to be in that situation, so have some self-respect for yourself and don't send photos of yourself with no clothes on to other people.

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    Replies
    1. I agree with you and your blog is really good too!

      Delete
  33. Cyber Bullying is a terrible thing. It's just as bad as bullying people in person.One of my friends committed suicide because of cyber bullying. I've been in a cyber bullying problem then i had some suicidal thought's. The best thing to do is tell a trusted adult like a parent, teacher, principal,social worker, etc. I didn't tell anyone till i was done with it and tried. If you know someone that is getting bullied tell an adult don't be a bystander stand up it is important. If i would of told someone it would of ended sooner, but I was scared. If you have suicidal thought go to a social worker it really helps. People think it is cool to bully people well its not its lame. Killing yourself is not a way out of life do not do it. If you commit suicide you cant redo it. If you know someone that has suicidal thoughts or being cyber bullied or bullied period tell a trusted adult.

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    Replies
    1. Josh - Thank you so much for sharing your story. How courageous of you! It is important for everyone to know that there is so much help available. What needs to happen is for one person to demonstrate kindness, and a bunch of courage, to tell someone that they have fears about a friend who is being bullied. We have so many resources to help here at school, and so many adults who are VERY deeply about our students. We WILL help, as long as one courageous person takes that step to share their concerns. One upstander! Thank you again for sharing your story Josh! You are helping others and being an upstander by doing so!

      Delete
  34. Kindnees, is good if everyone was kind there would be no bankroperies,sealing,bulling,death,and roodness.

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  35. Someone else's bad choice, should not affect your decision. Its important to immediately tell a trusted adult and not get involved in the situation. If your peer is angry that you are not defending or helping them, it can make them realize you are showing an act of kindness because your helping them by not getting involved and trying to show them that this is a bad idea. Being involved in this type of situation can get you caught up in cyber-bullying and hurt you or your friends. Instead of being involved you should be a "upstander" and help support the others that are being influenced to be involved in the situation and decision. There are many ways to help someone who is unsure about what to do in a situation with these types of photos being passed along.

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    Replies
    1. Brooke - You raise a good point - often your friends are initially angry that you get an adult involved. It take courage to do this. Know that while difficult at first, when the individual realizes that you are acting out of kindness and being an upstander to try to help stop the situation, their anger will quickly subside to gratitude. Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
  36. People that are bullying others have a reason for doing so. People that bully others have probably been bullied themselves. I would try and stop them and talk to them, depending on the situation.

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  37. It is good thing to be an upstander.

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  38. avoiding bad choices can prevent boling becaus you dont have to worry about any thing

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    Replies
    1. Trevor - Is it possible to avoid all bad choices? Don't we all make mistakes? Can you get caught up in a bullying situation as a bystander even though you have made all the right decisions?

      What does everyone think about this?

      Delete
  39. If someone makes a bad decision, and you respond correctly, you can help someone by letting them know that you can help them. I have helped many people when they have made bad decisions. We can see our mistakes, and correct them, so that people will stop bullying. I think that if everyone stops bullying everyone will be nice to each other.

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  40. When one of your friends sends a bad picture, your need to respond correctly. This will help them to stop doing it. When preventing bad posts, bullying will stop from black mailing, to cyber bullying, to bullying in general. To be an "upstander" you need to tell someone about the cyber bullying or bad pictures. This will stop the problem and hopefully end it for good.

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  41. If my friend was in a problem like that I would help them get over it. And I would help them to stop haveing all of the bad or negative things that people say to them.I would hope that they understand that they should never do it again. I would be on there side no matter what. I would also see how fast I could get this problem out of the way. So no one would rember. And just go back to how things were.

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    Replies
    1. How would you help your friend, specifically?

      Delete
  42. I think the first thing you should do in a situation like this is tell a trusted adult. Try not to get involved either. If you choose a side you could ruin a friendship or make things worse for yourself and others. I think bullies need to stop and think before posting or sending anything about another person. Put themselves in that persons shoes! If you start to have doubts...DON'T send it! Plus, most of the time the bully is having troubles of their own. This is where the adult can come in. If your parent talks to their parent, they will be informed on their child and can talk to them directly. I think if the bullies would stop before sending bad things, we would have no more bullies and therefore, less issues with our peers.

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  43. If a friend or I was in a situation like this, I probably wouldn't know what to do.. I wouldn't even send out a picture like that in the first place because, I know it would get around. I don't think anyone should ever send out a picture like that, because it's not really cool to do stuff like that.. And the person shouldn't have sent it to everyone, because things like that will get people to kill themselves.. Also, everyone that has the picture can get in big trouble for it.

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  44. Cyberbullying is something crule to do and if it gets to where someone is very hurt by saying something can be hurtful to others and one day it can come back and hurt that person back to.

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  45. I would tell my parents first so they would now kind of sitition

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  46. I would try to be the up-stander. I have never been put in a situation where I could be the up-stander, but if I am, I will try my best to stand up for the person in a bad situation. If I ever get a nude photo on my phone, I will delete it right away and tell the principle and a trusted adult. By avoiding bad choices and not sending the picture around, you are avoiding making more embarrassment for the person in the photo. You can be a up-stander in a case of cyber bullying by telling an adult and trying to stop it.

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  47. I would want to be a upstander to someone who has been bullied. I haven't been in a situation where that has happened. If I see something like bullying I would tell a teacher. I think bullies should stop sending pictures and messing around with people because that can haunt them in the future. If you are the person being bullied tell your parents and tell them the kids name and let your parents call their parents and try to straighten it out. If I saw bullying I would not want to get involved with it. If bullies would stop posting pictures on the internet and sending them to their friends then we wouldn't have this problem.

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  48. If I were to recieve a picture like this then I would have to report them no matter what. First of all it is very inapproiate and very disturbing to me, to know that someone would even have the nerve to do tsomething like this. I think that there is a time and a place for anything related to that and on your phone and the whole world is not the place at all.

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  49. If I were to receive a picture like this, which I can never see happening, I would probably have to report it. Most people would be a bystander and just delete the picture and the message, but that doesn't cut it. Being a bystander still leaves you liable of trafficking child pornography. Therefore, you need to be an upstander. As soon as you receive the picture, you should go straight to your principal or vice principal and make tell them what's happening. Whoever sent it to them would get mad at you, but it's the right thing to do! Reporting it is an act of kindness. If you didn't report it, the picture could go viral throughout the school, or be posted somewhere. However, none of this would have to happen if the picture had not been sent out. If that person had not sent it out, the picture would not be sent more or forwarded to other people.

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    Replies
    1. Great job Andrew! Being an upstander can be difficult at times - it requires courage! But in the end it is a true act of kindness, and time will make the difficulties fade and the kindness come forward. Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
  50. Being able to confront others about sending inappropriate photos, bullying, or anything of that sort takes a lot of courage and kindness. Whenever we stand up for the victim, or stay away from these situations, that in turn helps the people involved. You may lose a friend if you report something, but that is a big sign that you shouldn't have been friends with them in the first place. If you ever find yourself in a situation that has to do with cyber-bullying, you should immediately tell a parent or trusted adult. The situation will seem hard at the front end of it, but if you are kind, responsible, and understanding, it will make you a stronger person in the end.

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  51. Responding correctly to someone's bad choice is something very important. It is actually an act of kindness. You may not think it is, but trust me, you ARE being kind. You are teaching the person what they shouldn't do. You are helping a person learn from their own mistakes. You need to avoid doing something bad so you won't be bullied. The story of that girl who flashed a guy and he sent it to every one, she got bullied. She got to the point where she moved twice and even committed suicide. To be what people call an "upstander" is to just turn them in. You may not want to, but its their fault this all even happened. They need to know what they did wrong. Just make sure you report anything of this sort of thing happen.

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  52. I think when a friend sends you an innopropriate picture it is important to tel an adult so you won't get in trouble. Then you should talk to the person who sent it to you and tell them its bad and against the law

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  53. If you get something vulgar sent to you, you need to report it to an adult even if the person who sent that to you is your friend. You should not tell or show another friend, go straight to an adult. If you go to an adult, that will prevent people from bullying because no one will find out about it. If someone does get bullied, you should be an upstander because you would not like it if it happened to you.

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  54. In a situation like this, I think the only option would be to take the role of an upstander. Even though deleting a photo after recieving it does not count as distribution of child pornography, there are still major consequences of not reporting a photo like that. By taking this responsability, you may feel like the "bad guy," but in the end, you are only benefitting yourself and the person you are reporting. Inappropriate images can lead to serious disappointments, whether it is cyber bullying or getting denied a job opportunity. By reporting an incident like this, you are creating a better path for yourself and for the person that the photo effects.

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  55. People are always afraid to stand up and say something when they know that something being done is wrong. Either they don't want to become the new target, or they do not want to get a friend in trouble. You must always remember that you are probrably doing more good for this friend than bad by speaking up. You also can't be afraid of becoming a target because speaking up will solve the problem, and you are not alone if someone is bullying you. There will always be someone you can go to in this situation. You must always stand up for others, and stand up for yourself.

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    Replies
    1. Leah - You make a good point. Often the upstander can become the target of the bully. This is because you are removing their power. They wield their power through fear. When you show that you are not afraid by being the upstander their only hope of survival is to cut you down. By remaining courageous and believing in kindness you will triumph!

      Delete
  56. This kind of thing shouldn't even happen. If it does happen, someone should be the upstander and make a stop to it. If I was in this situation, I would definitely be an upstander.

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  57. Responding correctly to someone else's mistake can be and act of kindness. It is protecting them from bad things that could happen in the result of sexting. Avoiding bad choices can help you prevent bullying. If I make the choice not to make bad choices I do not have as much as a chance to get bullied. To be an upstander would be to tell an adult that your being bullied.

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  58. I think that reporting someone else's bad pictures is an act of kindness because if you didn't report it, the pictures would get out even more, which would cause more problems. Also avoiding bad choices can prevent bullying because bad choices can cause harm to others and bad things then happen. Also you can be an "upstander" by telling teachers, parents, or reporting people in cyber bullying.

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  59. If you have friends that would do that to you, then you should be looking for some new friends. If you're the one that posted it, then you should be ashamed of yourself, and if you are posting a picture of yourself just for the fun of it, I don't even see why you would want to put yourself in that kind of position.

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  60. Responding correctly to someone else's bad choice is an act of kindness if you tell them what they did wrong and try to teach them a lesson from it. Avoiding bad choice's can help prevent bullying by not starting anything in the first place. If I find myself or anyone in a bad situation, I will stand up for them and turn the cyberbully away.

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  61. It is an act of kindness because that person might not know that it is illegal and could save them. You need stay safe and away from bullying, and being smart on the computer is a good way to do that.

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  62. ive never been in that situation but if I do i will be a upstander

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  63. I think the best thing to do is keep scrolling. On social media there is no winners, and if you try to be an up stander you just get caught in the crossfire. The funny thing is that everyone is recorded so if there is a serious case of cyber bullying just tell a school principal.

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  64. Reporting that picture would not be mean it would be an act of kindness. If you did not report it, the pictures would get more and more out of hand. Reporting the picture would help the person who posted it out. They put theirself in a postion to fail and be made fun of. You reporting it would help them out.

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  65. I think being the bigger person when someone else makes a bad decision shows maturity. I think that stepping up and stoping cyberbullying would be best. Nobody should have to be talked about in a bad way over the internet for all eyes to see. If I ever was in a situation where I knew someone was being bullied on the internet, I would do anything I could to help that person out no matter if they were in the wrong or not.

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  66. It's common sence to not put a bad picture of yourself online. It makes your self look bad. it is a act of kindness you are doing your friend a favor from humiliating their self even more.

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  67. I feel like many people will say that if they get a cyberbullying picture or video that they will delete it, but in all actuality they will save it and/or send it out to other friends. Again, for the people sending the picture or video out, i don't understand why you would put yourself in that kind of position.

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  68. If you get a nude picture sent to your phone, you should never send it to anyone esle. You should tell someone that you trust. If someone witness cyber bullying or any form of bullying, they should be an upstander and stand up for that person and stand up for what's right. Bullying is very serious and it hurts people emotionally, mentally, and physically. By being a by stander you're most likely going to laugh with the rest of the people. Don't be a bystander, do the right thing.

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  69. Responding to someone else's bad choice can be a form of kindness, when it comes from good intentions. You should always hold kindness and give when it is necessary. Saving a friend from a future embarrassment would be a kind.

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  70. I think the best way to avoid cyberbullying is to just ignore it. People that cyberbully other people are just ignorant people. They are just jealous or a hater on the things that you have and thwy want.

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  71. Telling a teacher or adult about a nude picture getting sent around could save it before everyone receives it. It would show an act of kindness to the person being targeted because it would help stop the picture of them going around. You would be helping them recover from their bad decision. You could be an upstander and tell a teacher about it. Just deleting the picture off your phone won't stop it from being sent around. Being proactive and taking a stand about cyberbulling would prevent bullying.

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  72. Responding properly to someone's bad choice helps to make them realize what they did wrong, and will help them to avoid making this mistake again. By not making bad choices we can avoid people having something to talk about and bully us about and can avoid being bullies ourselves.

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  73. I would not like to do anything bad like that. I am not a bad person, i do good things most of the time. I can be bad like angry but nothing that bad to where i want to kill myself because i am really angry.

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  74. You should report it, not only does it prevent the victim from being bullied but it also prevents other people from being dragged into the trouble. People think that by being a bystander your innocent but to be perfectly honest you're not because you could have helped prevent it from happening again. If you are among the ones passing the phot on then you should be ashamed of yourselves because you are making more reason for the victim/poster to be bullied.

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  75. If you respond correctly to someone else's bad choice, it is an act of kindness. If you tell a teacher or an adult, it might not be kind to the person who posted it but to everyone else. If you don't do anything bad, no one will bully you about doing something bad. That means less bullying. If you are being cyberbullied, telling a teacher can make you an upstander.

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  76. I think that if ANYONE gets a inapropriote picture they should report it. Even if the person that sent to picture was a friend, you are doing them a favor! I agree with everything this post has to say! Once something is sent to you, you are involved. This is not OK!

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  77. You shouldn't do anything bad just because you don't like that person.

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  78. Responding correctly to someone else's bad choice is an act of kindness because it helps them realize that it was not a good decision. Also, responding correctly helps them out of the situation. Avoiding bad choices helps to prevent bullying because a lot of bullying is caused by bad choices. I can be and "upstander" by telling a responsible adult about the situation and get the problem resolved.

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  79. This could save a whole persons career. If the police see a inappropriate picture of you, they could track it. Then that will cause bigger problems. When someone gets a picture, sometimes they will keep it to themselves. If they don't tell someone like a parent or guardian they could possibly get involved. If you're ever in this situation please tell somebody nobody wants to end up stuck with the police!

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  80. Well, it's not really an act of kindness... it's more like telling them what to do. But it's a good thing to do because then people will see what they did wrong. Then again, it depends on what kind of person they are.

    You can do a lot by avoiding bad decisions. For example, maybe a woman got jealous because she thought that her husband was having an affair so she decided to murder who she thought her husband was having an affair with. But if she did that, the woman's family would be very sad, and so would her husband. Plus, she could go to prison. You know what they say, "when you hurt someone, you're not only hurting them, but you're also hurting yourself."

    I think that just by reporting the situation, many people will appreciate what you do. I mean a lot of people think that you're a 'snitch' just by telling the teacher but I call it doing the right thing. You can also step in and tell them to knock it off or by alerting other people try to help stop what's going on.

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  81. Some people have one friend others have many. It is always better to have one GOOD friend then to have a million backstabbers. So, it you have been a victim of bullying then you should report it, don't take a chance of putting it off because when you do then that is when the bully attacks more. One of the worst type of bullying is cyber bullying, cyber bullying is a form of bullying that can be done online or through a cellular device. Cyber bullying is a way of disguised way of one expressing themselves. Stand up and say something because 98 percent of all suicides come from bullying. So, stand up for someone and help, because help is the key to the future of stoping bullying.

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  82. Responding correctly to someone else's bad choice is an act of kindness because it could save their future. If you talk to them about what they are doing, it could open their eyes and see everything they are putting at risk. Avoiding bad choices helps prevent bullying because if people can not find anything bad against you, the best they can say is, "You're such a goody-two-shoes." To help others in bullying, cyberbullying or other, you need to stick up for them. If you see someone being bullied, step in and say something. If that doesn't stop, get a teacher. Yes, they might turn on you, but you can always get help from a trusted adult.

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  83. Personally, I think that we would all like to say that we would stand up and be up-standers, but when something like this actually happens, sometimes your brain shuts off and you make wrong decisions. Bad decisions are a fact of life; if nobody made mistakes, then we would never learn from them, but we can also look off other people's mistakes in these kinds of situations, and learn from their mistakes instead of making our own. If anything like this were to happen to me, and I don't believe it ever will, I would go to the teacher whom I had for homeroom in seventh grade and talk things out with her first. She is one person in the school that I I feel like I can really trust. I think that everybody should try to think of at least one adult that they could trust, whether it be a parent, teacher or someone else, if something like this were to happen to them.

    I think acting correctly in this kind of situation can be considered a great act of kindness. For example, if a friend comes to you in this kind of situation you could greatly help them by helping them find an adult that they could trust and by being there to help them through this situation. I believe that it would be a lot easier for someone to go through this, and come out of this situation without making a wrong choice, if they had someone their own age to have their back throughout the process. I think it would also be easier to ask a teacher for advice in this situation if you didn't have to ask for help by yourself. Also, even if somebody doesn't want you to step in, take initiative and tell an adult anyway. They may not like it, but it will be for their own good in the long run.

    Lastly, if you make a wrong choice in this situation, it can not only lead to limitations of college choices and careers options, but it can also lead to harassment and bullying. How, you may ask, could these pictures lead to bullying? Well, if your old boyfriend/girlfriend sent out an inappropriate picture of you with cruel words supporting people to look down upon you, then people might actually begin to believe that they are right, and they may begin to bully you and torment you. Wouldn't that be absolutely terrible? Not only are you now limited on where you will be allow to go study when you get out of high school, but people also make fun of you for one mistake that you made. For some teens, whether the bullying is because these kinds of images or not, it's just to much. There have been cases where teens kill themselves because of bullying. It maybe a sad and twisted fact, but it's one that needs to be faced. So, overall, I do believe that it is an act of kindness to try to help someone in this situation, even though it could possibly a challenging kindness to complete.

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  84. When someone makes a bad choice, it can effect many people. If you see someone doing something wrong, you should tell them nicely what you think. You don't want to come involved, but you want to point out that, that is wrong. If you don't get involved in the situation, other peers while likely not get hurt. If you are involved, you need to tell a trusted adult about it. When people do bad things, someone always gets hurt.

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  85. At any school, popularity is what most people want. They want to fit in, to be well liked, and to have the respect of their peers. Some people naturally obtain that, and others have to work for it. Most kids in either of those categories wants to stay there. One little mistake and they aren't the same person to kids at their school. Mistakes like saying what you really believe or stepping in to stop bullying. Though these aren't really mistakes, your peers make you feel as if they are. I think that if teenagers nowadays weren't so judgmental that more people would step in and take action. I know I would be more likely to tell someone to stop harassing someone else if I thought there would be no consequences. I feel that a lot of people are in my situation. A lot of people would do something, but they feel that they just can't because it's "social suicide". If more and more teens started stepping in, it would be more respected by peers. Step in. Help out a stranger, or even, a friend.

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  86. If you see someone being bullied, you should be the upstander. All it takes is a short conversation with an adult to make a difference. This conversation could drastically change someone's life. It is never the person who watches that is remembered in history, it is the person that makes a difference.

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  87. I think that if someone makes a bad choice, it can effect more than one person. If you see someone doing something that you know is wrong, you should tell them nicely that you know that it's wrong. I think you never should do something wrong when you know that it's wrong.

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  88. You should always help people if they are being bullied, even if you don't even know them. Or, if you see a person bullying people multiple times, talk to them about it and tell them it isn't right. Lastly if people want you to get involved in bullying tell them why you wont.

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  89. I think no matter who the person is if they come up to you and wanna show you a nude picture you should turn them down and go let a adult know who has it and what they are doing with it. Plus it is never right to go around and show people nude pictures of other people even sending it to people is wrong.

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  90. I honestly think that if someone says hey look at this picture and it looks like a bad person go tell a adult or a police officer

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  91. Cyber Bullying is not the right thing to do. Alot of bullies make kids put stuff on the internet that they dont need to. Bullies need to STOP doing stuff on the internet, and if the bully wouldnt like to be bullied then, why do they do it to that one kid. Bullying needs to stop. Don't put nothing on the internet of someone else, if you wouldn't want them to do it to you.

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  92. If someone comes up to you with a picture like this tell them to delete it and walk away. Having pictures like this on your phone is wrong. What if your mom/dad sees your phone laying around and the look through it and find a picture like that? You would be in big trouble for something you didn't really do, you just had the picture. Sending pictures is also wrong. The person you send them to could make you think they like you and won't do anything with the picture but if you two deiced to split up he has that picture of you and can show people to mess with you and hurt you. Don't do anything that can mess your life up and others life's up.

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  93. There are alot of cyber bullies out there. Cyber Bully is a really mean and harsh thing to do. Obviously cyber bullies are have no lives except for making fun of people on the internet. If you think your cool because you make fun of people and bully them your not. Bullying just needs to stop because it's getting out of hand.

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  94. You shouldn't send/take pictures and show them to people. If you have an inappropriate photo on your phone keep it there ; its YOUR business only yours.Deleting It doesn't help anything its still going to be somewhere visible! -Sequoia Harris ,Central High School

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  95. Responding to a case of cyber bullying can save more people than you would think. If you ever get an email or text about someone being cyber bullied, the best thing you could do is report it. Then you can guarantee that you would not be in trouble if the message is traced back to you.

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  96. I do not see the point in cyber bullying or any bullying. Just mind your own business and if you are mad at somebody, talk to someone that can help.

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  97. Cyber bullying is becoming a bigger issue today. It is becoming a huge issue and is making kids think negative thoughts and causing them to end things by death. Death is not an answer to this issue. Things could be fixed if you tell a trusted adult, social worker, teacher, etc. If you just end things by death you are giving the bullier the benefit of the doubt. Problems will not be fixed if you do that. Please tell someone.

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  98. first of all if u can do that then that shows how much .this can prevent bulling because if its u on the pic an people keep passing it around iand it gets to your friend they willl take the pic and reternit

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  99. Responding correctly to someone else's bad choice is an act of kindness if you tell them what they did wrong and try to teach them a lesson from it. Avoiding bad choice's can help prevent bullying by not starting anything in the first place. If I find myself or anyone in a bad situation, I will stand up for them and turn the cyberbully away.

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  100. Really the only thing you can do is learn from your mistakes. It's going to be tough if one of your friends comes up to you and says that they've seen a picture of you. One thing you can do is not take the picture in the first place.

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  101. I feel that if you bully you are losing your chances at going far in life. them more people you put down the more you hve to make up for your self.

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  102. If you are kind to someone who made a bad choice, you can help them become better people. They will see how you react to them when they make mistake and they will do the same for other people and over all people will be more happy. If you avoid bad choices, there will be nothing for people to bully you about. To be an upstander when there is cyberbullying you could teach the person thats getting cyberbullied how to avoid those situations.

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  103. If you make a bad choice conceqences will happen to you. if someone else makes a bad choice nothing will happen to you, and on that note stop bullying. bullying is a big deal all that name calling builds up and they may hurt themselfs. so please STOP bullying.

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    1. I agree with you Drew. Bullying is a bad thing. Bullying can cause someone to kill themselves and it should be put to a stop. Schools should do more stuff to prevent bulling.

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  104. Correcting a persons bad choices is an act of kindness because it shows that you care about them, and that you will take the time to talk to you about it.

    Avoiding bad choices can prevent bullying because you would know what to do in the situation of someone else being bullied.

    Being an upstander is as easy as standing up for yourself or standing up for someone else. If you see someone being bullied, make sure they know that you can help.


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  105. Central High School
    When you respond correctly to someone else who is doing something bad then that shows them that they just mad a bad choice. When you avoid a bad choice it helps prevent bullying when you don't start anything with someone to make them want to bully you or you bully them.
    How you can be an 'upstander' in a situation is to not say anything about anyone over the internet because, it just makes things worse by not talking to them in person.

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  106. Its an act of kindness by fixing there choice and showing that you care. If you don't make bad choices then you won't be in a bad situation. You can stand up for the person who is being cyber bullied.

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  107. Cyber bullying is the most common reasons of suicides in todays world. People have killed themselves because of cyber bullying in the past years and its not right and people should really stop its stupid. if you have nothing good to say, dont say it at all, it could cost someones life.

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  108. I think it is an act of kindness because you can help someone in a time of suffering and trial. Avoiding it, could prevent bullying because if you don't do bad things it makes you do good things for you and others. Stand up for someone online will make someone back down because they bully someone because they think the person is weak, when you stand up for that person you know that they have people on their side.

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  109. If this happens to you you need to tell a parent right away.If you don't along with the person who sent the picture you could get into trouble.You may not think so but your helping them so be kind and tell someone.Kylie Dixon Thompkins Middle school

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  110. It is easy to just be a bystander and not speak your mind. It happens every single day; you see a post and someone has commented something hateful. It is much easier to just sit back and not say anything, but it is much more heroic to actually stand up for someone. It can be a real challenge though. There are pressures and expectations, and sometimes speaking your mind can cause you to be the odd one out. However, it is worth it to look uncool or "lame" and do what you believe than to stay back not say what is right.

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  111. Responding correctly to someone else's bad choice is an act of kindness because you are saving this person a lot of trouble by telling them that they made a bad choice or even an illegal one, and helping them figure out how to solve it. I think that bully's only bully other kids because they or someone in their life has made a bad choice. If we don't make these bad choices I think there will be a lot less bullying. You can be an upstander when you find yourself in a situation of cyberbullying by telling a trusted adult and telling the person it was wrong what they did.

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  112. This is an act of kindness. In the long run, that person or many people could get in serious trouble. That would affect their entire life ahead of them wether it be school or a job. As a friend you would like to prevent that. Avoiding bad choices can prevent bullying because if you don't do it, you have nothing to be bullied for. To be an up stander, I would let someone know when it was happening and leave myself out of the situation.

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  113. We ca prevent this by just not doing it don't give into peer pressure I have had this happen to friends before and they have told me. That it has come back to haunt them later on and they regret it. One way that you can get the overhand if you are being cyber bullying would to be to show these conversations. Or things to an adut or someone who can seek out this person and talk to them about. Why they did this and why they have been doing this and take care of the situation acordingly.

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